To quote the man they banned, "it’s just wrong."
I’ve ranted on Clear Channel before. I do not like the organization. I loathe that which they stand for, and I’m absolutely livid that they have allowed the Neo Nazis at the FCC to put their balls in such a lethal fuckin’ vice grip.
Been under a rock? Lemme bring you up to speed. Howard Stern has been suspended (indefinitely) from Clear Channel. A total of six Clear Channel stations carry Stern nationwide, Miami, Louisville, Pittsburgh, Rochester, Orlando, and San Diego no longer wake up to the King of all Media. It may only be six stations, but those are huge markets. And Clear Channel’s reasoning is about as faulty as the entire corporation.
Believe me, that is faulty.
And the blame should not go entirely to Clear Channel or the FCC. We also need to turn an angry eye to one Ms. Janet Jackson. See, Janet’s little stunt at the Super Bowl Halftime show gave the FCC just what they’ve craved for many, many years. A loaded rifle filled with an infinite supply of borderline-fascist ammunition. Now they have they’ve reserved the right to put a big censorship stamp on anything they see fit.
See, the FCC has had it in for Howard and the gang since he made a name for himself. He broke new ground on several levels, albeit through controversial means. But they have never had the brass to deal him any sort of rock solid blow due to the overwhelming amount of support he has from listeners that hail from all walks of life.
But now they have. Six stations may not be a lot, but it’s enough to set some ugly new precedents. The broadcast in question was nothing out of the ordinary for Howard and the gang. It’s the same show he’s been putting on for the last twenty some-odd years.
I would like to say that this ridiculous ban will lead to people boycotting Clear Channel, selling their stock, and voting for John Kerry. But I realize that is probably not likely. Sad as I am to admit it, Howard is licked on this one.
But here are the things to remember, whether you like Howard Stern or detest him:
1. Clear Channel are hypocrites. They were so hot to promote Bubba the Love Sponge in New England that they actually pulled Dee Snider from the air, simply because his program wasn’t “racy enough” to compete with Stern. Now they’ve fired Bubba for the same reason they tried to make him the next Stern. They are at the mercy of the FCC, sure, but they are also quick to verbally slam their former prodigy and the most famous DJ ever.
2. The FCC are Nazis, plain and simple. And with a Texas Cowboy in the White House, they are more dangerous than ever, because now he’ll give them full backing under the heading of “decency,” even if it infringes on the First Amendment.
3. Janet Jackson is an idiot, and her upcoming album deserves to tank. Her desperate attempt at publicity and shameless self promotion in front of a nationwide audience has unleashed a dangerous domino effect that has subsequently given the FCC free reign. So not only is she fucked, we’re all fucked. Janet and MTV are the ones that deserve to pay, not Howard Stern
4. Howard Stern, for better or for worse as a human, is the sacrificial lamb for the FCC Gods. They want to make an example out of him, and are willing to levy heavy fines on Clear Channel if they do not comply.
5. Most importantly, we are human beings. We should be subject to logic and common sense. If something crosses our ears that we do not want to hear, we have the right to ignore it, or, surprisingly enough, turn that little knob a little to the left or a little to the right, thereby altering the frequency, and shutting out the “dirty noise.” It’s called freedom of motherfuckin’ choice, period. We all have it. Those of us who do not choose to exercise it are nothing more than worthless lemmings who want the Government to run our lives for us. I’m sorry, but that’s just not my game. Grow up, get off your high horse, and change the goddamned station.
6. You cannot amend an amendment. Like Howard said, “in America we have freedom of speech. Just be careful what you say.”
But hey, I’m just one man. Maybe I’m out of line. After all, "spontaneity, creativity, and honesty are dangerous things, people shouldn't be exposed to them."
So speaketh Howard Stern.
Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
3/01/2004
2/25/2004
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, for the love of God Almighty, not again.
Look, I’m not one to go into politics real heavily. I don’t align myself with any particular party as a whole. I’m bipartisan, and vote for whoever I think is the more competent, qualified, ideal candidate, period.
For the record, I do not really care for George Bush. Yeah, I was in favor of the war in Iraq, but that was while under the assumption that the country was harboring WMDs. We all know now that appears to be a major inaccuracy. Bearing that in mind, I feel we did a good thing (liberating a nation from a dictator) for the wrong reason. Time to get our guys and gals the fuck outta there.
But like I was saying, I don’t like Bush as a President. He did what any President would’ve had to do after September 11th, plain and simple. Despite the glaring differences, Gore would’ve had to do the same thing. Why? Because a non-response would’ve resulted in the most intense backlash imaginable.
Besides, laying low and bending over for another 747 Enema to one of our landmarks is just stupid.
So let’s not go so far as to say that Gore or Clinton would not have responded the same way. Anyone would have done what Bush did. Anyone would have enacted retaliation.
I don’t find Bush to be a competent man by any means. He has surrounded himself with the right advisors, I will give him that much. However, I really don’t think this nation can withstand another four years of the man without some serious, serious repercussions.
So obviously, I looked towards the Democratic candidates. Well, all of them except for Lieberman. I think we all know he was gonna tank. I was leaning towards John Kerry well before Howard Dean auditioned for Skid Row during his caucus speech. And now with Kerry gaining some serious motherlovin’ ground, the last few weeks have been looking up, in my eyes.
Until Ralph.
Y’know, the term “nadir” refers to a low point. While the spelling might be off by a mere vowel, Ralph Nader is just that. A political low point. To me, he is the lowest common denominator, a washed up hippie idealist who has refused to claw his way out of his pipe dreams. Does he make good arguments about corporate America? Sure. Is he realistic in his vision of our nation? Not by a long shot. Old Ralph likes to envision a utopian society completely devoid of corporate interference and the threat of international imperialism.
Ralph, drop it like a hot potato right now. It’s a nice idea, but we’re too far gone to ever completely reverse the flow. You’d do yourself well to just try and let the current carry you where it wants and learn to deal with it like the rest of us. Certain things are not going to change. They may improve, but they will always be in place. If you think you can make a difference, pull your ostrich-like skull out of the ground, spit out the grass, and cast your eyes upward to that giant yellow ball in the sky like the rest of us have. Welcome to real fuckin’ life.
Speaking of grass, which I’m sure you’re quite familiar with, let’s talk about the Green Party. Where have they gone, Ralphie? What’s wrong, why can’t you front for them anymore? Maybe it’s because you’re an ungrateful dimwit who pretty much bankrupt them in exchange for an extension on your 15 minutes of fame? Maybe, Ralph. Maybe.
So now you’re running as an Independent. I think it’s pretty much official. Much in the same way Michael Jackson is the modern-day Howard Hughes, Ralph Nader is now the Ross Perot of the 21st century. A wrinkly little gremlin of a cult leader with small stature and big dreams who seems hell-bent on throwing a wrench into the cogs of the political machine.
Because that’s what Nader is, folks. He’s a spoiler, plain and simple. I know, there was plenty controversy surrounding the 2000 election without him, but he certainly did not help matters. OK, you know what? Fuck political correctness, I’m just gonna come on out and say it plain as day.
Ralph Nader sabotaged the 2000 Presidential election, and he’s gonna do it again in 2004.
Y’know, this may sound a little X-Files of me, a little too “conspiracy theory,” if you will, but don’t you find it awfully convenient that Nader just happens to rear his little mutant head precisely when the Democrats are gaining ground? Let’s be honest, we know he’s gonna take way some of Kerry’s votes, and that does not bode well for John. I mean, he’s been quiet ever since the 2000 election, not really hinting at running for Prez, and now all of a sudden he throws his hat into the circle? Well I’m certainly convinced.
Ralph Nader is on the Republican payroll, and you can take that to the bank.
Don’t like what I’m saying? Too fucking bad. Think he can make a difference? Wake up. Think he has a snowball’s chance in Hell? Think again. Nader is the nadir, no question about it.
Fuck you, Ralph Nader. You’re a punk. You are the O.J. Simpson of the political world; a psychotic, twisted murderer who got off the hook before, and will probably get off the hook again. You’re a political assassin, and there’s a special seat reserved for you in Hell, right between Michael Eisner and the guy who invented the Pog. I cannot wait to tinkle on your tombstone, mutant.
Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, for the love of God Almighty, not again.
Look, I’m not one to go into politics real heavily. I don’t align myself with any particular party as a whole. I’m bipartisan, and vote for whoever I think is the more competent, qualified, ideal candidate, period.
For the record, I do not really care for George Bush. Yeah, I was in favor of the war in Iraq, but that was while under the assumption that the country was harboring WMDs. We all know now that appears to be a major inaccuracy. Bearing that in mind, I feel we did a good thing (liberating a nation from a dictator) for the wrong reason. Time to get our guys and gals the fuck outta there.
But like I was saying, I don’t like Bush as a President. He did what any President would’ve had to do after September 11th, plain and simple. Despite the glaring differences, Gore would’ve had to do the same thing. Why? Because a non-response would’ve resulted in the most intense backlash imaginable.
Besides, laying low and bending over for another 747 Enema to one of our landmarks is just stupid.
So let’s not go so far as to say that Gore or Clinton would not have responded the same way. Anyone would have done what Bush did. Anyone would have enacted retaliation.
I don’t find Bush to be a competent man by any means. He has surrounded himself with the right advisors, I will give him that much. However, I really don’t think this nation can withstand another four years of the man without some serious, serious repercussions.
So obviously, I looked towards the Democratic candidates. Well, all of them except for Lieberman. I think we all know he was gonna tank. I was leaning towards John Kerry well before Howard Dean auditioned for Skid Row during his caucus speech. And now with Kerry gaining some serious motherlovin’ ground, the last few weeks have been looking up, in my eyes.
Until Ralph.
Y’know, the term “nadir” refers to a low point. While the spelling might be off by a mere vowel, Ralph Nader is just that. A political low point. To me, he is the lowest common denominator, a washed up hippie idealist who has refused to claw his way out of his pipe dreams. Does he make good arguments about corporate America? Sure. Is he realistic in his vision of our nation? Not by a long shot. Old Ralph likes to envision a utopian society completely devoid of corporate interference and the threat of international imperialism.
Ralph, drop it like a hot potato right now. It’s a nice idea, but we’re too far gone to ever completely reverse the flow. You’d do yourself well to just try and let the current carry you where it wants and learn to deal with it like the rest of us. Certain things are not going to change. They may improve, but they will always be in place. If you think you can make a difference, pull your ostrich-like skull out of the ground, spit out the grass, and cast your eyes upward to that giant yellow ball in the sky like the rest of us have. Welcome to real fuckin’ life.
Speaking of grass, which I’m sure you’re quite familiar with, let’s talk about the Green Party. Where have they gone, Ralphie? What’s wrong, why can’t you front for them anymore? Maybe it’s because you’re an ungrateful dimwit who pretty much bankrupt them in exchange for an extension on your 15 minutes of fame? Maybe, Ralph. Maybe.
So now you’re running as an Independent. I think it’s pretty much official. Much in the same way Michael Jackson is the modern-day Howard Hughes, Ralph Nader is now the Ross Perot of the 21st century. A wrinkly little gremlin of a cult leader with small stature and big dreams who seems hell-bent on throwing a wrench into the cogs of the political machine.
Because that’s what Nader is, folks. He’s a spoiler, plain and simple. I know, there was plenty controversy surrounding the 2000 election without him, but he certainly did not help matters. OK, you know what? Fuck political correctness, I’m just gonna come on out and say it plain as day.
Ralph Nader sabotaged the 2000 Presidential election, and he’s gonna do it again in 2004.
Y’know, this may sound a little X-Files of me, a little too “conspiracy theory,” if you will, but don’t you find it awfully convenient that Nader just happens to rear his little mutant head precisely when the Democrats are gaining ground? Let’s be honest, we know he’s gonna take way some of Kerry’s votes, and that does not bode well for John. I mean, he’s been quiet ever since the 2000 election, not really hinting at running for Prez, and now all of a sudden he throws his hat into the circle? Well I’m certainly convinced.
Ralph Nader is on the Republican payroll, and you can take that to the bank.
Don’t like what I’m saying? Too fucking bad. Think he can make a difference? Wake up. Think he has a snowball’s chance in Hell? Think again. Nader is the nadir, no question about it.
Fuck you, Ralph Nader. You’re a punk. You are the O.J. Simpson of the political world; a psychotic, twisted murderer who got off the hook before, and will probably get off the hook again. You’re a political assassin, and there’s a special seat reserved for you in Hell, right between Michael Eisner and the guy who invented the Pog. I cannot wait to tinkle on your tombstone, mutant.
Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
2/15/2004
Normally, I’m not one to talk about my family on this blog. In fact, to my knowledge, I’ve never really gone into my family life on ye olde Landshark. Well, all you need to know is that I love my family to death. But I’m here to tell you about one person in particular that I’m crazy about.
Grandpa Frank.
Now Grandpa Frank recently passed away. Last month, in fact. I grew up with him, and he lived with us pretty much up until the last few months of his life. I had this very unique connection with him… It wasn’t your typical “Obiwan Kenobi/Luke Skywalker” type relationship. He didn’t offer up any sage advice, never taught me how to drive standard or anything like that. He wasn’t really an outwardly emotional guy. He was a longtime truck driver, proud of his Teamsters Union membership. He had an affinity for cars, trucks, and all things automotive. One of his most beloved memories of the last few years was a trip to the Peterbilt factory down south. Because of his rough lifestyle during his youth (drinking, smoking, sleeping around, etc.), he wasn’t one to say “I love you” too easily.
But he showed his love for me in his own way. As a kid, he’d drive me to school, Toys “R” Us, the comic book shop, wherever I needed to go. If one of my toys broke, he’d work double time to fix it. He was good like that. When I got older, he got into the habit of slipping me money, normally a $50 bill, for no particular reason. We had a sort of unspoken understanding with one another, and that was just fine by me.
I won’t go into the emotional details of his last few weeks, but I will tell you that since he passed, I’ve had the most amazing dreams about him. And I’m here to share one of them with you right now.
Earlier this week, I dreamt that I was on the hit Discovery Channel program American Chopper For some reason, I .was on tour with the Teutels and the entire O.C.C. crew at a bike show, admiring their sleek custom motorcycles and shooting the shit. At one point in the dream, I mentioned how I wished my grandfather could’ve been alive to see it all, as he loved that kind of stuff. Paul, Sr. asked what he did for a living, and I responded by telling him he was a truck driver. When I mentioned the company name, Sr. commented, “I used to know a guy who worked for them… Frank. Tough old bastard. Knocked me on my ass about 30 years ago in a bar fight.”
That’s right. It may only be a dream, but Grandpa Frank beat up Paul, Sr. And you know what? I wouldn’t doubt if he could’ve done it in real life.
Miss you much Grandpa. Now and forever, you are the man.
Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Grandpa Frank.
Now Grandpa Frank recently passed away. Last month, in fact. I grew up with him, and he lived with us pretty much up until the last few months of his life. I had this very unique connection with him… It wasn’t your typical “Obiwan Kenobi/Luke Skywalker” type relationship. He didn’t offer up any sage advice, never taught me how to drive standard or anything like that. He wasn’t really an outwardly emotional guy. He was a longtime truck driver, proud of his Teamsters Union membership. He had an affinity for cars, trucks, and all things automotive. One of his most beloved memories of the last few years was a trip to the Peterbilt factory down south. Because of his rough lifestyle during his youth (drinking, smoking, sleeping around, etc.), he wasn’t one to say “I love you” too easily.
But he showed his love for me in his own way. As a kid, he’d drive me to school, Toys “R” Us, the comic book shop, wherever I needed to go. If one of my toys broke, he’d work double time to fix it. He was good like that. When I got older, he got into the habit of slipping me money, normally a $50 bill, for no particular reason. We had a sort of unspoken understanding with one another, and that was just fine by me.
I won’t go into the emotional details of his last few weeks, but I will tell you that since he passed, I’ve had the most amazing dreams about him. And I’m here to share one of them with you right now.
Earlier this week, I dreamt that I was on the hit Discovery Channel program American Chopper For some reason, I .was on tour with the Teutels and the entire O.C.C. crew at a bike show, admiring their sleek custom motorcycles and shooting the shit. At one point in the dream, I mentioned how I wished my grandfather could’ve been alive to see it all, as he loved that kind of stuff. Paul, Sr. asked what he did for a living, and I responded by telling him he was a truck driver. When I mentioned the company name, Sr. commented, “I used to know a guy who worked for them… Frank. Tough old bastard. Knocked me on my ass about 30 years ago in a bar fight.”
That’s right. It may only be a dream, but Grandpa Frank beat up Paul, Sr. And you know what? I wouldn’t doubt if he could’ve done it in real life.
Miss you much Grandpa. Now and forever, you are the man.
Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
2/12/2004
2/05/2004
True story.
Tuesday, before my Strategic Management class, I was watching Around The Horn in the student lounge, when a tiny, cute blonde girl from said class sat next to me. There was little communication, but I just couldn’t help but notice how cute she was.
So then we’re in class, somehow we got on the subject of dams and the government (just don’t ask), and she commented that when the job market was down, the government would infect the population with AIDS to create more jobs. Someone asked what would happen if a cure for the disease was found, and she commented that there already was a cure, the government was just keeping it under wraps.
I turned to one of my younger classmates, who had also noticed she was cute. Under my breath, I said, “She doesn’t seem so cute anymore.” He replied, “No, she doesn’t.”
True story.
Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Tuesday, before my Strategic Management class, I was watching Around The Horn in the student lounge, when a tiny, cute blonde girl from said class sat next to me. There was little communication, but I just couldn’t help but notice how cute she was.
So then we’re in class, somehow we got on the subject of dams and the government (just don’t ask), and she commented that when the job market was down, the government would infect the population with AIDS to create more jobs. Someone asked what would happen if a cure for the disease was found, and she commented that there already was a cure, the government was just keeping it under wraps.
I turned to one of my younger classmates, who had also noticed she was cute. Under my breath, I said, “She doesn’t seem so cute anymore.” He replied, “No, she doesn’t.”
True story.
Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.
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