I've noticed something over the last few months.

You know those ultra-hip yellow Livestrong wristbands that Lance Armstrong has marketed for cancer research? I dig 'em. I like what they stand for, and I particularly like the fact that they're stylish withoug being trendy (or pretentious). Teh fact that the money from each purchase goes straight to cancer research is a huge plus with me. So yeah, on the whole I really like them, which is probably why I own one (along with half my office).

However, have you noticed that while these things pull off the unthinkable by making banana yellow cool, they don't look good on fat people at all?

Now, by "fat," I don't mean someone who has a small gut, beer belly, or even a paunch. I'm talking about the so-called "morbidly obese" that seem to be growing in both per capita population and waistline each year. They really just don't look good on these people. At all.

I first noticed this one night two months ago down at the gym. I was going through my routine when this fat kid comes in. He's maybe 6' and change, but is clearly overweight. The first thing I noticed (besides his size) was how young he was. Probably no more than 14 or 15. The second thing I noticed was that he was doing every single exercise wrong. I tried to help him, but he maintained that he used to lift and knew what he was doing. Nearly two full months later, he's not only still doing them wrong, but he's brought down the weight to make it easier. The third thing I noticed was his Livestrong band. They do stick out because of their color, and also because it seems like everyone owns one now. But it really didn't look that hip on him.

It just looked out of place, like it accidentally found its way onto his wrist. Of course, this was all compounded by the fact that the kid is a total chump. But I have noticed these items on other grossly overweight individuals, and they just don't look right.

It is therefore my assertion that, on a purely subconscious level, seeing a Livestrong bracelet on an extremely overweight person is not aesthetically pleasing. On a subterranean level, your mind tells you, "What business does someone that size have promoting health through his fashion statement? From the look of him, he should be wearing a wristband that promotes hunger strikes, because his belly is promoting Wendy's late-night drive-thru window."

Well, maybe only my mind tells me that last bit.

Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.