OK… far be it from me to ever speak ill of a certain nationality, especially a minority in the U.S., but are these people out of their collective gord?

What's even more worrisome about this is the fact that the mayor agreed to this. Now, I can understand that some people want to vote for one of their own; a person who is connected to his or her roots within the community. Fair enough… but if he's as obviously delusional as you, you may want to rethink that notion.

Now, I say this not because I don't believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life. Quite to the contrary, I believe this universe to be far too vast for us to be the only carbon-based types bopping around in our own little petri dish.

But my thinking dictates that if there are aliens out there, and if UFO's have come to Earth at some point in time, abducted human beings, probed their posteriors, studied their sacks and fondled their fruit, odds are they aren't going to need a landing strip. I'm willing to bet good money that they'll touch down wherever the fuck they please, and then proceed to pillage this planet so viciously that not even Bill Pullman will be able to stop them this time. What a waste of taxpayer pesos.

Yes, I know that Puerto Rico's currency is actually the United States dollar. Pesos sound better. Deal.

In fact, I welcome these strange and exciting visitors, because I am even more rapidly losing faith in the intellectual and mental health of mankind. I suppose next the mayor of Glasgow will pass a bill to manufacture giant swimmies for the Loch Ness monster.

Goodnight and have a spacy tomorrow.