8/16/2005

As much as I hate to admit it, America just doesn't get it.

Let me set the scene for you… as I've made mention of before, every time I cruise I-95 en route to work, I see many of the same drivers day in and day out. Hard to believe that amongst the hundreds upon hundreds of motorists, I would be able to pick out maybe a dozen or so that have repeat sightings attached to their being. But it's true. Normally, this is discovered by way of whatever bumper sticker adorns their ride. Example: I've encountered a fellow Skidmore alumnus several times while braving the deadlock. When you kill this much time in bumper-to-bumper traffic, you just notice these things.

Now, there's this one car that I've seen many a time during the morning and evening commute. Make and model are unimportant… in short, this car has a French flag sticker on the bumper, and in the rear window, there's an upside down American flag.

Now, Connecticut is quite a liberal state, wealthy population notwithstanding. So this character is, more than likely, making some thinly veiled political statement at the current state of the union. However, in his perhaps anti-American (or possibly anti-administration) display of zeal, he did bring to light something that I have been dwelling on for far too long.

That is the fact that we as Americans are short on happiness, high on stress, and lost in life. One recurring theme throughout this blog, especially over the course of the last year, has been the fact that society places extreme pressure on us to succeed. I don't know enough about economics to put that blame on capitalism per se, but I think it's clear that America thrives on commerce, and commerce thrives on the blood, sweat and tears of the average human being just trying to make ends meet. That being said, it is often quite difficult for said average person to really enjoy life to any meaningful extent.

I was, for quite a long time following my last post, going to write a lengthy piece about America's pursuit of happiness and how seemingly elusive it really is. The catalyst for that post was the fact that I had a conversation with a close friend who had just started seeing a really great guy that made her happy. However, she was uncertain that her parents wouldn't accept him, and because of that fear, her ability to enjoy the relationship was hindered. Similarly, I had just found a great place to live by myself, and despite this fact I was burdened with mortgage red tape, payments, and the inevitable process of moving itself. And yet here we were, two reasonably intelligent, capable 20-somethings with really good things in our lives… and yet we were unable to enjoy them.

The thrust of this piece was going to be the fact that our society, for whatever reason, simply prevents us from attaining happiness. However, as time went on and I planned the piece, I notice something happening… I was putting it off daily. This alone took me over two weeks to write, which is very uncustomary of me. See, I normally like to follow a single thought once it hits and see it through to the end. However, with a recent shake-up in my division at work, my workload has increased dramatically, and I myself have been so overwhelmed that even regular trips to the gym are becoming a chore.

Overworked with not enough sleep under my belt on a daily basis, I began to come to grips with the fact that no matter what job I take, as long as it's big business, it will always be like this in some way. There will always be extreme amounts of work, late hours, new and challenging tasks, frustrations, stresses, and not nearly enough compensation or appreciation. Now I recently received my six-month review, and I did OK for myself. I seem to be grasping things well, and received a decent little raise for myself, but… that is not nearly enough to make me want to stay with this outfit for the rest of my days. No, dear reader… I cannot see myself doing that.

And this is after I moved 30 miles closer to my office… before that, I was literally up every morning at 5:30, out the door by 7:15, in the office between 8:30 and 9:00 (depending on traffic), out of the office between 5:00 and 5:30 (depending on the workload), and back home around 6:00 and 6:30. I was so beat, that I would take daily naps in my car during my lunch breaks. I'll even go so far as to spare the time I spent at the gym from being factored into this equation, and do the math that by the time I finish my day, from the time I woke up to the time I touched down, it was on average about 12-13 hours. That's freakin' disgusting, and I know for a fact that I'm not the only guy who has made such a commute. Hell, for that matter, there are folks who have commuted even further to their offices. Chew on that.

I remember when I was looking for work, and so many people told me, "Remember, you've got the rest of your life to work." That is so sadly true, and a fact that I abhor. And I know that I would probably not have to endure such a tedious routine if I did not live in this country.

Now I'm not sure how it is in more rural areas of the nation… truthfully, I've never been to such locales. However, in the northeast, northern Midwest and other areas of major commerce where there are large cities and companies to boot, your livelihood is predicated on your output within the cube, plain and simple. And the company dictates your life.

It's funny, I spoke with a co-worker earlier today who got reamed out because she took half-days for the rest of the week to be with her son who is home alone. Her husband travels a lot, so it's difficult to always be there for him. She actually agreed to bring work home with her so she wouldn't fall behind. She came in a half-hour late today and got the business for it. A half-hour. Think about that. What gets accomplished in that small time frame to begin with? The answer is probably not too much. But that is business for you… the company over the individual.

I spoke to an acquaintance not too long ago who recently got his review, and the one glaring item on it was the fact that in terms of his ranking, he put the customer first, then himself, then the company. That was their only complaint. Imagine that. Putting yourself above the company… How dare he! Heck, I don't even think I would put the customer above myself. It's not that I'm selfish, but how can I put someone I've never even seen before on a higher plateau than myself? To me, that's not a question of company loyalty, that's a question of common sense. If the company is so much more important than the individual, why do upper-level managers get more vacation time? Why do they use that vacation time? Why is it that some of them only work partial weeks? I'm having trouble figuring that one out.

Another very close friend (the aforementioned individual with the boyfriend "crisis") works in New York for a PR firm, and for a week straight, she worked every night past 10:00 PM. You're talking a 14-hour marathon every day discounting her commute. That, my friends, is just exquisite bullshit. No one should have to put in those kind of insane hours, ever. Even if they're willing.

But like I said… this is the American culture. Put in your 40-plus a week, earn your keep, and always reach for the brass ring. Well the brass ring doesn't always have to be a faster car or bigger house… I believe the real brass ring lay within. ClichĂ© as it may sound, I really feel that there is something altogether internal that we as Americans miss out on because of the madness the culture dictates. I could be wrong, but chalk it up to one man's opinion.

Now Europe, however, is a completely different scene. The people over there, while perhaps overly nationalistic, still "get it." They know how to live, man. You go over to Greece, Spain or Italy, and those folks work a few hours, go home and take a nap, finish work, then go out all night and party. Wake up, lather, rinse, repeat. And those people are living longer, healthier lives than us Yanks. Don't kid yourselves, folks, it goes way beyond just the diet… it's the lifestyle, the daily routine, the culture itself that is keeping those people in healthier states than us. I would be very interested to go so far as to compare the numbers regarding people in therapy and/or on medication between the U.S. and Europe. I wouldn't be surprised if those numbers reveal that the U.S. has a greater population (per capita, of course) of people in treatment. I mean, c'mon, what do people in Europe have to get stressed out over or worried about?

Let me tell you something, my one surviving Grandparent is straight over from Greece. He is going to be 92 years old this coming January, and he's healthy as ever. He walks 5 miles a day, eats well, and has always been a workhorse. I'm convinced he'll live to see 100 just because that's how tough he is… but the secret to his long life has come through his lifestyle. He's been a man of a strong work ethic and a low stress level. Since day one, he has called the shots for himself, whether it be on the farm in his native village, behind the wheel of an ice cream truck in Waterbury, or slaving over a hot stove in the restaurant in New Haven. He has been the master of his own destiny since day one, and that is why we as Americans miss out on life so much. We let others govern our paths rather than take charge ourselves.

What I'm getting at is that the condition of our society itself will not allow us to easily select our lot in life… no matter how hard we work.

Dear reader, if you haven't already, I urge you to see Office Space. Trust me, you'll be a better person for it, and you'll also get a peak at corporate America at its finest. This film is frightfully accurate in its portrayal of the utterly absurd "office dynamic." Granted, some things like Milton and the stapler may be extreme, but for the most part, this film captures the mundane at its best, and is able to depict life in the corporate environment with razor sharp wit and precision. In short, the big dogs don’t care about the drones. They don’t give a shit about the cogs that make up the machine. So long as they make their money and get their eight weeks vacation time, they’re fine with whatever goes on.

In my division alone, three people have vanished in the last month. One has been transferred, two have up and quit, one of them without any prior notice. Doesn’t exactly make me look at things with enthusiastic candor, decent review notwithstanding.

So while this French motorist may have been making a strong political statement, he was also right about something else… America is in distress and needs help, but from within. While it may seem impossible, I feel that there are certain aspects of our culture, certain norms that need to be turned inside out, or else we will simply implode under the strain. It’s that simple, people. Either our nation takes it easy a bit, or we drive ourselves mental because the boss told us to.

So the question is, do I plan on staying with this outfit forever, dooming myself to bitching about my stapler and ordering stamps for an eternity? Hell, no. For that matter, do I plan on staying in business forever? No dear reader, I think for myself, I will be pursuing other more creative options as means to earn a living and be happy. I don’t know exactly what yet, but I’ve seen what I don’t want, and that is only going to lead me closer to what I do want.

It reminds me of my father’s blurb in his high school yearbook… A line that said he “believes life is meant to be lived easy.”

This coming from a man who ultimately spent the bulk of his life working as a foreman in factories. As much as I love my father, I think for myself, I will try to live by that mantra, and break away from the chain of madness our society has adopted. God willing, either America will wake up (which it needs to do anyway) and stop beating itself up just to be #1 in everything, or I’ll be able to earn my keep comfortably and still be able to be happy and content with myself and my life. Hopefully I’ll be able to bring a little slice of Europe into my world, and get by each day with a nap under my belt and a smile on my face.

Crazy? Maybe. Plausible? Why not? Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

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