You know who I really hate? Annoying people. Annoying people who think that they're incredibly funny. Annoying people who think that they're incredibly funny yet never know when to shut up. Annoying people who think that they're incredibly funny yet never know when to shut up... who also have accents.

I've recently encountered one of these jackasses. And I hate him with every fiber in my body.

This joker happened to drop into one of my graduate classes a few classes into the term, and since he has, my urge to kill has been on perpetual orange alert ever since. Or at least Thursday nights from 5:30-8:30, when I have to see his ever-irritating mug.

I still can't place his accent for sure, although it sounds like it's somewhere between French and Jamaican (figure that one out yourself). For the sake of anonymity, let's call him Jar Jar. That's right, I'm comparing this guy to Jar Jar Binks. Not because he's black. Not because he has a rotten accent. But because he is easily the most annoying person I have met this year.

Here’s an example of how imbecilic this cretin really is.

In this class, we’re learning about a statistical test called the Levene test (pronounced Leh-veen). Our professor, who’s a bit scatterbrained (bless him), commented that he wasn’t sure if Levene was a man or a woman. Jar Jar simply says, “Avril Lavigne?”

Now is this funny? Not really. Slightly observant, but in no way funny. The joke should’ve died there.

But it didn’t. My professor mentioned Levene twice more, and Jar Jar persisted by saying, “the singer.” He then broke out into horrible rendition of “I’m With You” just slightly under his breath.

Urge to kill, rising…

And it didn’t even die that night. It’s gone on for three weeks. I dread hearing my professor say, “Levene,” because I know Jar Jar is going to chime in, thinking he’s funny.

I hate annoying people who think that they're incredibly funny yet never know when to shut up... who also have accents.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s raising his hand with a goofy face in mock enthusiasm, making drug comments when the professor mentions another test which is abbreviated “LSD,” and in general, just breathing.

Jar Jar will not shut up. Jar Jar does not realize he’s annoying. Jar Jar does not realize that no one laughs at his jokes. Jar Jar must die. There are plans in the works to take a hit out on Jar Jar. Oh, yes, Jar Jar. Your life is in jeopardy as long as I’m in that class. You and your bad accent.

Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow. Except for you, Jar Jar, you can go to Hell.