Well, the holiday season be upon us once again, and the year is about to draw to a close. Normally, I’d wrap up the year with a few standard issue posts (Christmas List for Celebs, Top 10 Albums of the Year, etc.). But it seems everyone has their own little take on end-of-the-year awards. VH1, Comedy Central, shit, I’m sure fuckin’ PAX has a year-end special. Still, I started a tradition last year with the first ever "Jump The Landshark" Awards, and I feel obligated to at least keep that tradition in season.

However, instead of handing out multiple honors as I did this year, I have one massive clusterfuck of an award I like to call the Universal Jump the Landshark Award.

And this prestigious honor I bestow upon…

Everyone.

Because every single man, woman, and child on the face of the earth jumped the Landshark in some way, shape or form, this calendar year.

You did it, your mom did it, your lover did it, your sibling(s) did it, even I did it.

My ex made me watch the MTV VMA pre-show. I still feel contaminated.

In all seriousness, though, 2004 was the year from hell. Superficiality overtook substance. Intelligence became a major liability that no one seemed to shell out extra for. Style became a language in and of itself, and altogether eclipsed the importance of talent. Ignorance was bliss to millions of humans. Media dulled the senses and dictated what we needed to know. Logic took a backseat to just about everything. Our culture continued to be dulled by massively stupid public figures. We got a taste of human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, and mass hysteria. And most troubling of all, people never seemed to want to question the “truth.”

In truth, I found 2004 to be the most frustrating and disappointing year I have waltzed through in some time. Now I’m not trying to bring anyone down, nor am I trying to bear an oversized and much-unneeded cross on my shoulders. However, those of you who know me well know that I underwent a great deal of personal and professional hardship throughout the year. To be fair, there were some highlights, no question about it. And I would like to think that in the end, the positive experiences outweigh the negative. But I can’t shake the fact that the negative were far more numerous, and much too frequent for my liking. For me, the three best things about the year were completing and receiving my MBA, being elected to the Sons of Pericles Supreme Lodge, and the Red Sox winning the Series. Aside from a few weddings I attended and thoroughly enjoyed, the rest of the year kind of blew koalas.

And when I wasn’t encountering death of friends and family, unemployment, or failed relationships, all around me it seemed the rest of the world was just heading nuts-first into a tailspin and not really giving much of a shit. Maybe it’s me (but then again, it’s my blog, so I’m allowed to be me, and fuck you if you don’t like it), but it just seems like all the principles of logic, reason, common sense, and progression have fallen tragically by the wayside with a resounding thud. I don’t know who or what to blame, but I know that it makes me excruciatingly sad. I just feel like people, in this nation and around the world, don’t seem to care about anything anymore. More and more, it seems we the people of the planet Earth are growing more resigned to just putz around like a tribe of hopeless lemmings.

And folks, believe me, I am not limiting this to political outlooks. I’m talking in very broad, general terms. It’s just that… I don’t feel the rules seem to apply to folks all that much anymore. It’s like I meandered directly into this bizarre Wonderwasteland where everything is ass-backwards and no one really seems to care al that much. Let’s just be complacent with the feces that’s forked over to us at the buffet and sport a big shit-eatin’ grin while we devour it.

See, I can’t do that. I learned a long time ago not to remain complacent with myself, or the events around me. I learned that if I feel something is wrong, it’s my duty to speak up about it. It’s one of the reasons I started this stupid blog in the first place, and this mass realization is no different for me. There is something horribly wrong with the world today, and while I cannot put my finger on it precisely, while I cannot look to one lone source and say, “there it is,” I can sense, in very broad terms, that things are way too far left of center.

I feel that, in short, narrow-mindedness has overtaken our nation. To me, that’s frightening. As a child, I was always taught to ask questions when curious, or doubtful, or unsure. And I do to this day. I question everything. Beliefs, leaders, actions, authorities, everything. And that is not to say that I am looking at this through purely biased eyes, ladies and germs. I may not agree with everything that goes on around me, and I shouldn’t have to. The world should not have to suit my needs at all times. However, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s a major bug in the system that is somehow reproducing in brain matter across the globe.

Perfect example. I saw someone at the local pharmacy purchasing the Clapper today. The fuckin’ Clapper. I didn’t even know they still made those damn things.

I think the one moment that hit home the most for me this year was Jon Stewart’s appearance on Crossfire. Stewart commented (and I’m paraphrasing) that there is “something very wrong with the nation right now.” He went on to say that the host, who touts himself as a serious reporter, really isn’t doing anything about it.

I agree with Jon, and I think we should all be allowed to point the finger at the masses and ourselves and say that we’re not doing anything about it. And those of us who at least are cognizant of the problems at hand don’t know where to start.

Admittedly, I don’t know where to start myself.

But I, for one, fully intend to fight the battle with the greatest weapon I have at my disposal. When armed with it and fully loaded, I am slightly invincible against literal and figurative slings and arrows. When wielding it, I can cut through the thickest slab of idiocy, inconsistency, and dishonesty possible. And when using it on others, I can at times influence them to join the good fight.

It’s called my brain. I invite you all to lock and load along with me, and raise the roof in the ’05.

Farewell to this horribly sad and tragic year. All honesty, I won’t miss it a bit.

Goodnight, and have a pleasant whatever.