Christ, has it been a year already? A whole fuckin’ year? What have I been doing with my life…

Well, to commemorate the anniversary, I figure I might as well let you in on the background behind the seemingly non sequitur moniker of ye olde blog.

Most people would probably take “Landshark” and “Sandwich” as two separate phrases, but in reality, the name is an amalgamation of “Landshark” and “Shark Sandwich.” Think of that “Before & After” category on Wheel Of Fortune where they take sayings, phrases, names, etc. that are linked by a common word, and create a hybrid phrase based on them. Example, they could take “Alexander the Great” and “The Great Wall of China” and come up with a homoerotic conquest of the Far East by a bisexual Greek teenager.

Actually, it’d work out to “Alexander The Great Wall Of China.” Silly example, but it serves our purposes here. So the question remains, what the hell is a Landshark, and why a Shark Sandwich? Allow me to answer…

Landshark comes from the classic Saturday Night Live bit from ’75 that parodied a possible sequel to Jaws (bear in mind that this was ’75, so we hadn’t yet encountered any piss-poor sequels to this great film). Basically, Chevy Chase played the shark, Dan Aykroyd played Chief Brodie, John Belushi did a phenomenal Hooper, and the cast for the sketch was rounded out by Lorraine Neuman, Gilda Radner, Jane Curtin, Garrett Morris and guest host Candace Bergin.

Hard to believe Candace Bergin was hot at one point. Anyway…

The skit ran like an excerpt from the then-hypothetical Jaws II in which the main antagonist was no longer a Great White, but rather a “Landshark, the most dangerous species known to man.” The Landshark, or Landy for short, stalked young single women by knocking at their door and posing as repairmen, mailmen, and the like. Example:

*Knocking at door, young woman goes to answer door. By now, the classic “dun dun dun dun dun dun” Jaws theme is playing.*
Woman – Yes?
Landy – Mrs. Arnoldsberg?
W – Who?
L – Miss Sabitowitz?
W – Who is this?
L – (pausing) Plumber.
W – I didn’t call for a plumber.
L – (pausing) Telegram.
W – Telegram? Oh, OK…

From here, the young lady would unlock and open her door only to have a giant pair of foam jaws come crashing down on her head. Funny shite, especially for ’75. So that explains Landshark.

Shark Sandwich comes from another classic bastion of comedic fun, that being the mockumentary known as This Is Spinal Tap. For those of you who don’t know, the film plays out as a documentary being filmed about a once-legendary British hard rock band known as Spinal Tap. The band is befuddled constantly by botched stage shows, smaller venues, and a long line of rapidly expiring drummers. The main players are documentary director Marty DeBergi (Rob Reiner, who also directed the film itself), lead singer/guitarist David St. Hubbons (Michael McKean), lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) and bassist Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer).

In one classic segment, DeBergi is interviewing the band and reading them reviews of their albums. Their opus titles are so absurd you can’t help but bust a gut. For example, Intravenous De Milo and The Gospel According To Spinal Tap are among the items in their catalog (it should be duly noted that the band is at this point in time touring to support their upcoming release, Smell The Glove). DeBergi comes to one album named Shark Sandwich. Marty informs the band that the review consists of only two words:

“Shit sandwich.”

So there you have it. The etymology behind my blog. Now get the fuck outta my house.

Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.