To quote the man they banned, "it’s just wrong."

I’ve ranted on Clear Channel before. I do not like the organization. I loathe that which they stand for, and I’m absolutely livid that they have allowed the Neo Nazis at the FCC to put their balls in such a lethal fuckin’ vice grip.

Been under a rock? Lemme bring you up to speed. Howard Stern has been suspended (indefinitely) from Clear Channel. A total of six Clear Channel stations carry Stern nationwide, Miami, Louisville, Pittsburgh, Rochester, Orlando, and San Diego no longer wake up to the King of all Media. It may only be six stations, but those are huge markets. And Clear Channel’s reasoning is about as faulty as the entire corporation.

Believe me, that is faulty.

And the blame should not go entirely to Clear Channel or the FCC. We also need to turn an angry eye to one Ms. Janet Jackson. See, Janet’s little stunt at the Super Bowl Halftime show gave the FCC just what they’ve craved for many, many years. A loaded rifle filled with an infinite supply of borderline-fascist ammunition. Now they have they’ve reserved the right to put a big censorship stamp on anything they see fit.

See, the FCC has had it in for Howard and the gang since he made a name for himself. He broke new ground on several levels, albeit through controversial means. But they have never had the brass to deal him any sort of rock solid blow due to the overwhelming amount of support he has from listeners that hail from all walks of life.

But now they have. Six stations may not be a lot, but it’s enough to set some ugly new precedents. The broadcast in question was nothing out of the ordinary for Howard and the gang. It’s the same show he’s been putting on for the last twenty some-odd years.

I would like to say that this ridiculous ban will lead to people boycotting Clear Channel, selling their stock, and voting for John Kerry. But I realize that is probably not likely. Sad as I am to admit it, Howard is licked on this one.

But here are the things to remember, whether you like Howard Stern or detest him:

1. Clear Channel are hypocrites. They were so hot to promote Bubba the Love Sponge in New England that they actually pulled Dee Snider from the air, simply because his program wasn’t “racy enough” to compete with Stern. Now they’ve fired Bubba for the same reason they tried to make him the next Stern. They are at the mercy of the FCC, sure, but they are also quick to verbally slam their former prodigy and the most famous DJ ever.

2. The FCC are Nazis, plain and simple. And with a Texas Cowboy in the White House, they are more dangerous than ever, because now he’ll give them full backing under the heading of “decency,” even if it infringes on the First Amendment.

3. Janet Jackson is an idiot, and her upcoming album deserves to tank. Her desperate attempt at publicity and shameless self promotion in front of a nationwide audience has unleashed a dangerous domino effect that has subsequently given the FCC free reign. So not only is she fucked, we’re all fucked. Janet and MTV are the ones that deserve to pay, not Howard Stern

4. Howard Stern, for better or for worse as a human, is the sacrificial lamb for the FCC Gods. They want to make an example out of him, and are willing to levy heavy fines on Clear Channel if they do not comply.

5. Most importantly, we are human beings. We should be subject to logic and common sense. If something crosses our ears that we do not want to hear, we have the right to ignore it, or, surprisingly enough, turn that little knob a little to the left or a little to the right, thereby altering the frequency, and shutting out the “dirty noise.” It’s called freedom of motherfuckin’ choice, period. We all have it. Those of us who do not choose to exercise it are nothing more than worthless lemmings who want the Government to run our lives for us. I’m sorry, but that’s just not my game. Grow up, get off your high horse, and change the goddamned station.

6. You cannot amend an amendment. Like Howard said, “in America we have freedom of speech. Just be careful what you say.”

But hey, I’m just one man. Maybe I’m out of line. After all, "spontaneity, creativity, and honesty are dangerous things, people shouldn't be exposed to them."

So speaketh Howard Stern.

Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.